Change a T-Shirt, Change a Heart

I guess a t-shirt can inspire you to do many things; learn to iron, wear a different t-shirt, start working out, wear a certain pair of pants… etc. Today my shirt inspired me to change my heart.  When I woke up this morning to get dressed I was overjoyed with the realization that today was the only day this week that I was not required to dress professionally. I, of course, took full advantage of this by grabbing my running shorts and picking up my usual “frocket” v-neck. Realizing that I wear this same basic outfit every other day (I have 3 pairs of the same shorts and 4 of the same shirt), I decided to wear a different shirt. So I quickly dug through my drawer and found the biggest, softest shirt I could. It ended up being a really ugly, gray color with some white text on the side so I tried not to look too hard at it, slipped it on and headed to breakfast.

While walking to the caf, I started thinking about life and how annoyed I was by various things (I generally do my most profound thinking during my walk to breakfast).  Focusing on my frustrations caused me to work myself into a rather grumpy mood. I was feeling negatively toward people, school work, and pretty much everything in general. For whatever reason, I remembered that I had no idea what my shirt said and decided to read it. It said, “Be different. Be love. Be Christlike.” At this point, as I passed the library and walked into the caf, I felt like I had run into a giant sign telling me to change my attitude and my heart. I mean, I guess I did… except I was wearing the sign and I didn’t run into anything (which is quite an accomplishment for those of you who don’t know me very well).

Now, to be honest, I’m not actually sure where I got this t-shirt. I think I got it for free at some convention, but I can’t remember for sure. Wherever I got it, God knew that I would need its message today. That alone is an amazing thought. Thinking about the instructions on my shirt, I asked God to help me to change my heart. I needed his strength to make my attitude like that of Christ Jesus. I began to force myself to think of all the positive elements of today: I got to wear a comfy t-shirt; God was/is quite obviously present; I didn’t have any homework due; there were breakfast burritos in the caf; and the list went on and on.

It definitely wasn’t easy to follow the directions on my shirt. I constantly caught my human self thinking about negative things rather than the list of approved thoughts I had been given in Philippians 4:8. However, with God’s help, time and time again I would remind myself to “Be different. Be love. Be Christlike.” This challenge has been eye-opening for me and has taught me a lot. Tomorrow I plan to wake up continuing to be inspired by the shirt I wore today. 

Happy Weekend, Joyful Life

                Have you ever had a weekend that you just didn’t want to end? That you would live over and over again if you could and never tire of it? For me, that was this weekend. After a long two months, I made my trip back to the wonderful state of Texas and the wonderful refuge of home. Spending all day shopping with your mama, another day of being in downtown Dallas with people you already admire and with people you just met, being stuck in traffic with your little sisters for two hours while trying to go see a remake of your favorite 80’s movie, interviewing for a summer job, and walking around to find a restaurant that has the Cowboys game on without an hour wait time may not seem like an extraordinary weekend. But, it was by far the best weekend I have had in a very long time. I found great happiness in this weekend and in the people I spent it with. I was happy and I was joyful. Then, I arrived back at school last night to realize that I have fallen back into a mistake I have been trying to overcome. I have been looking, and temporarily finding, joy in things, people, and places other than God.

                While, yes, this weekend was incredible and I would do it over again in a heart-beat, I realize all too well that this was a temporary, fleeting joy otherwise known as happiness. While I enjoy Ouachita, the people here that I do life with, and the things that I am involved in, last night, I found myself longing for the people and comfort of home. I was only away from these things for a matter of hours and already the happiness I had received from them had faded and was replaced with longing for new joy. I take a step back and observe my relationship with my Father and realize that, over the last few days, I have not chosen joy. I have not relied on God to bring me joy and instead have chosen a joy that is not true.

                Do I think that it was wrong of me to have an amazing weekend and to be joyful as a result of it? No, but the problem is found in my heart’s intentions. I came home to see my family and friends because I knew that they would bring me happiness. In my heart, I was relying on them to relieve me of the stress and frustration that had been building up in me over the last couple of weeks. While, the fact that these things bring me happiness is not a problem, the problem arose when I relied solely on them to make me happy. I was not pursuing joy in my relationship with God or focusing on things that would bring him glory. The consequence of that was at the end of my weekend, I found myself, once again, feeling as if I needed to search for joy.

                So, once again I am faced with the decision of whether or not to choose joy. I realize that this is a decision that I have to make daily. Today I choose joy. Tomorrow, I will wake up and make that same choice again. Then, I will rely on God to bring me joy as I strive to live for him. I pray that he will keep me accountable to this and that my focus will remain on him.

Choosing to Blog, Choosing Joy... Oh Decisions

So… blogging. This is something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. There have been many times where I am sharing something about my life with a friend and they have responded by telling me to blog. While I normally respond to this by laughing and denying that I would have anything interesting enough to say, I finally decided that it was worth a try. If you are reading this and are still with me… awesome. I would have already reverted back to facebook creeping by now.

Anyway, I have realized through struggling through life’s situations that in order to be joyful, I must choose to have joy.  Right now I am half way through the first semester of my junior year at Ouachita Baptist University.  Over the last year God has taught me a lot and help me to overcome many trials. Going through them all I wanted was to “just be happy.” Then God helped me to realize that to being happy is not as important as being joyful, and they are not the same thing. So very recently I have chosen joy. I have asked God to help me to strive for joy and so far the journey has been really good. This is the beginning of my life after choosing joy.

God has shown me so much about myself and about himself in the last few weeks. At the beginning of this semester I found myself begging God to but a hunger in my heart for him. As I continued to read his word and continued to beg him for that desire, he gave it to me. He answered that prayer in a way that only he could. It has been a truly incredible experience falling in love with the creator of the universe. I have a deep thirst for knowledge of the things of God and I absolutely love it. His love alone is what has helped me through the first half of this semester.  I cannot begin to describe the joy and excitement I have because of my relationship with God. If none of what I have been writing has made sense it’s because I am too excited to think through what I’m saying haha. Those of you who know me fairly well understand that I do this from time to time. The point of what I’m saying I guess is that God is amazing and his love for me continues to amaze me every single day.

So, my first blog seems to be spastic and all over the place. This is fitting I guess since I myself am quite spastic and very much all over the place. Well, maybe next time I’ll be in more of a mood to focus J